Moderated by Oleg Brodskiy, I sat with Ali Swei, Sarah Como, and Yenni Desroches as we talked about how we balance the work of being students and indies doing work for games, no matter how small or big the work. The panel turned out very well for us. We had a great conversation about how we work differently and what our philosophies are in doing work during or after school, and we ended up having the second half of the panel as a Q/A for students and indies attending the panel.
Final Thoughts
You know, granted, I never really attend parties or gatherings besides game dev meetups, so I never know what it's like to go to events to just meet others and socialize. I did much more meeting people in GDC than PAX East, of course, and I was way too exhausted by PAX East to meet new people. I'm still proud of myself for managing to be awake for 2 panels!
Honestly, it is very hard for me to approach others. I mean, what do I say? What if the person thinks I just want a job? I'm still an undergrad, so what purpose would anyone want to talk to me? What if I'm being selfish in the first place? Why bother?
GDC was the first time I had to fight these negative voices in my head, and I had to come up with something. Something more motivating. More positive. What if the person is interested in my questions? What if I can stop thinking about "the job" and just keep a desire to make new friends and make new relationships with people? What if I can build my network while genuinely learning from the people I'm talking to?
I came out of GDC and PAX East loving people more. I met so many people of different personalities and different backgrounds that I couldn't help realize that I needed to have at least some pride in myself. It's still so hard for me to maintain a positive attitude when meeting new people. I have to constantly remind myself that the other person is human, too, and that I can't be anyone but myself. It always runs in my head.
But I can not thank both of these events enough for pushing me to meet others. And I need to thank you, if you're someone I met at these two events. You've given me more courage and more self-esteem, really! I hope to be truly happy with who I am and have nothing but pride that I am who I am. And I hope you do the same. It is so important for us to just be ourselves.
That was the beauty of this week. All I had to do was be myself.
I am still tired. I'm catching up on work. I've got a lot to do if I want to make it to the industry, as I've learned from mentors and peers at GDC and PAX. But I can go on being a little more proud of myself.
Thank you, video games. And thank you, reader. :)
